Even the Oscars themselves were weird. Neil Patrick Harris made jokes that probably won't get him asked back to host any time soon. Birdman won Best Picture even though Michael Keaton and Emma Stone didn't win for their acting *in* Birdman.
Plus a lot of people weren't even there! Where was Jennifer Lawrence? How am I supposed to go through an Oscar show without seeing JLaw trip over something? And WHERE WERE THE CLOONEYS?!?!? I pay good money to sit on my couch and watch George Clooney show up in an Armani tux and showcase a beautiful woman on the red carpet, and this year that beautiful woman was his WIFE, and THEY DIDN'T SHOW UP. Who do they think they are.
Anyway, rant over. Let's travel back to the red carpet moments that won our hearts. Because really...who watches the Oscars for any other reason?
Best TV Show Hosts
Kelly Osborne in Rita Vinieris
Kelly Osborne has seriously never looked better in her entire life. I can't get over her "Audrey Hepburn with a Punk Twist" look! Apparently she was going to wear this dress for the pre-show and then change for the carpet, but her second dress got stuck in transit and never arrived. I couldn't be more thrilled that it didn't.
But then, the Oscar night backdrop was revealed. It was white, and the show thought it would be better for her to stand out against the backdrop in a red dress. Her Mireille Dagher gown was yet another phenomenal look.
I can't decide which look I like better!
Giuliana Rancic in Mireille Dagher
and Steven Khalil
E!'s Giuliana Rancic had several looks going on: her pre-show look, a white lace Steven Khalil gown, was worthy of Elsa from "Frozen," and I was thrilled that she was keeping up her trend of wearing shades of white to the Oscars. It always looks fantastic on her skin tone.
Ryan Seacrest in
Ryan Seacrest Distinction
Ryan looked fabulously dapper in his very own line of menswear. I seriously hope every man shows up in
Ryan Seacrest Distinction at future award shows, because the result is mighty fine.
Nancy O'Dell in Gauri and Nainika
While most of my Best Dressed TV Show Host "awards" went to E! hosts, Entertainment Tonight's Nancy O'Dell rocked the carpet, too. She usually goes for something sexy, but this look was Old Hollywood and glamourous; perfect for the Oscars!
Julianne Moore in
Custom Chanel by Karl Lagerfeld
It was pretty obvious to everyone going in to Oscar night that Julianne Moore was a shoo-in for Best Actress, and as every shoo-in knows, it's crucial to wear a dress that looks phenomenal from the waist up when you're photographed ten thousand times holding your Oscar. Julianne completely succeeded.
Her hair, makeup, and earrings were perfect compliments to her gown, and overall it was a perfect look to compliment her win.
Rosamund Pike in Givenchy
Holy. Goodness. For Rosamund to wear white and black all season and then to come to the Oscars in red was totally unprecedented.
I can't say I'm a huge fan of the matchy-matchy shoe, but I'm willing to overlook it because of how magnificent she looks overall. She managed to pick just the right shade of red for her skin tone and her hair and makeup is pure perfection; not too overdone.
Margot Robbie in Saint Laurent
This was one of the best STYLING moments of the night for me. Margot's gown could have gone the "bathrobe" route, but it ended up being a stunning throwback to 70s Halston.
Such a simple, sheer dress was the perfect backdrop to what may be noted as one of the most gorgeous necklaces in Oscar history (by Van Cleef & Arpels,) and she tied it all together with sleek hair and a red lip. I couldn't have put this look together any better myself.
Lupita Nyong'o in
Custom Calvin Klein Collection by
This definitely is not a look that would have ended up on everyone's best dressed lists, but Lupita simply can do no wrong for me. She is LITERALLY the only person who could pull off a halter gown made entirely of pearls (over 6,000 pearls to be exact.)
Photographs don't even remotely do this gown justice. The sheen of the pearls when it moved was luminescent, and the contrast of the dress against her skin was brilliant. As always, her styling was flawless.
If I could just be Lupita when I grow up, I'd be very cool with that.
(p.s. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS DRESS WAS STOLEN?!? Sheesh.)
Jennifer Lopez in Elie Saab
FINALLY!!! This is the best this woman has looked in ages. I'll admit, I'm seriously questioning whether she has ever worn a dress that requires a bra (or if she has ever owned a bra?) but I'm thrilled that Jennifer is taking a break from her super-sexy Zuhair Murads. It's nice to see her step back into a princess moment for the Oscars.
Naomi Watts in Armani Prive
This was a hit-or-miss with critics, and I'll admit it took me a bit to let it grow on me, but now I'm a huge fan. I don't know how Naomi always manages to look cool and different, but she can pull off looks no one else can.
The high-cut neckline with the bandeau-style back makes this gown the perfect combination of glamourous and sporty, and the slightly mussy hair and darker, haunting makeup ties everything together and keeps it all chic.
She's a genius, I tell you. (Or her stylist is...whichever.)
Amy Adams in Atelier Versace
This feels like cheating a little bit because Amy only showed up to the after parties, but she was a SERIOUS stunner. I've been waiting to see how she would wow at the Oscars all season, and she didn't disappoint.
This needs to be Amy's color from now until forever. It's so perfect on her skin, and the signature Versace curvacious cut hugged her body into perfection. As always, her hair and accessories were flawless.
...also, can we check out that eyebrow game? JEALOUS.
Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo in Armani and Armani Couture
For two people who aren't movie stars, they sure pulled out all the stops for the Oscars!
Adam looked like he's been working the red carpet all his life, and his model wife appeared in one of the best looks of the entire evening. As a pair they were completely stunning.
Chris Pratt and Anna Faris in Tom Ford and Zuhair Murad
This couple's look was, admittedly, a little bridal. I fail to see anything wrong with that. Anna has never looked better, and Chris stepped effortlessly into his own "George Clooney" moment.
But what can I say, really. I'm biased. They're just so freaking cute.
Neil Patrick Harris and David Burkta in Brunello Cucinelli and Calvin Klein
These are the only two men I will allow to break the "classic tux" rule on the Oscar red carpet. The cut of both tuxes was perfect and their tailoring was flawless. They also managed to keep it interesting with color without going too crazy or too outside what is appropriate for the Oscars. Overall, they looked fantastic side by side!
They should have changed...
Gaga's performance and after-party looks, on the other hand, showed a much softer side of Gaga and showed how gorgeous and glamourous she can be when she goes SIMPLE.
I'm sure her performance look was probably chosen for her, but it was perfectly appropriate for her Sound of Music tribute. She did Julie Andrews proud in every way.
Her after party dress was very plain and classic, and I adored her darker, more brooding makeup and jewelry, especially as a follow up to two white gowns.
Her Vanity Fair party look (a black Saint Laurent gown) was SO Breakfast at Tiffany's and would have been great for her Oscars debut.
Her after party Valentino had a much more flattering top than the first, and overall I'm just a huge fan of velvet on the carpet.
Gaga's custom Alaia gown with her "rubber kitchen gloves" certainly became a conversation starter. The gown itself was flawless, but the styling, while it was apparently Alaia's vision, wasn't quite working for most red carpet viewers and critics.
Felicity's red carpet Alexander McQueen look was SO heavy. The full skirt might have been okay if the top hadn't been embellished or if the neckline hadn't been so high, but overall it was just too much volume and the result was horrendous.
Keira's red carpet look was...interesting. It wasn't AWFUL, but after all the flak she got for her weird embroidered Golden Globes look, I don't know why she would choose to go back to another weird embroidered gown. It MIGHT have worked better with a solid black strapless bodice, but the unfortunate "Scandinavian milk maid" top ruined it.
Lorelei Linklater in Gabriela Cadena
What the heck even is this. Your film was nominated for ALL THE AWARDS, and you thought it would have been okay to appear onstage in this if your movie had won?
Laura Dern in Alberta Ferreti
This look was just so wrong on so many levels. The dress itself was pretty bad; there's too much going on and the fabric looks cheap. The real killer, though, was the styling. The patterned bag! The giant necklace! THE SWOOPY HAIR.
At least with Lorelei you could say it was just a rookie mistake - Laura is old enough to know better.
Dakota Johnson in Saint Laurent
Ohhh golly. This was yet another "Bella Swan at Prom" look for me.
I understand the desire to wear red at your first Oscars, but this was the wrong red for her skin. It was also the wrong cut for her body type, the wrong hairstyle with the dress, and the end result was just...WRONG.
It's not nearly formal enough for this type of event, and it looked like a last-minute, thrown-together look.
Reese Witherspoon in Tom Ford
Okay. Reese has been a winner for me all season, and I know I've said that I love to see her looking sleek, simple, and modern. And she does. But she just looked better at every other award show this season, and that's the opposite of how it should be. Every other dress this season is supposed to lead up to a magical climax at the Oscars, and this totally fell flat.
I really disliked her hair parted down the middle, and her makeup made her look older than she is. I don't understand how you could look at all the other award show looks you've put together and decide that this was the way to end the season.
Emma Stone in Elie Saab
NoooOOOoOOoOOo. This was an Anne Hathaway Oscar Flop ALL OVER AGAIN. She was doing SO GREAT ALL SEASON. She was SO EDGY with the COOL MENSWEAR LOOKS. And then she put on a CELERY GREEN BETTY WHITE GOWN?!?!?!?! Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?! With a MATCHING SHOE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I hope you can tell how upset I am by this.
Let's look at what Meryl Streep wore, or Diane Kreuger's Vanity Fair Party look. EITHER of these would have been better choices for Emma for the carpet. Menswear inspired femme. You know, that thing you've been doing ALL SEASON.
Take notes, Emma. Get it right next time.